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Comedic 'Jews With Tools' Kinnelon Author's First Book

Volunteer and 27-year borough resident writes mostly true stories about personal mishaps and adventures.

Jon Horovitz has never been good with his hands and, until now, that may have seemed like a bad thing.

But Horovitz's non-handiness has helped cultivate subject matter for his new book, "Jews With Tools: Incredible True Stories of Life in Jewburbia," released in December. Despite not being a religious person, being Jewish is a big part of the 55-year-old Kinnelon resident's life. 

"I've always been the only Jew, whether it's been growing up, going away to college in the southern part of Virginia...growing up, I always thought I was the only Jew around," he said.

In the writer's prologue of the book, Horovitz explains that he means no offense to the Jewish people and that readers should not feel such a way. Horovitz said the book was written humorously.

"I've always been the guy that tries to have the funny joke," the former comedian said.

The book catalogues a series of real-life adventures and incidents exaggerated to make for a more comedic story. Horovitz noticed that the feeling he had about being different because he was Jewish began to carry over in other ways in his life, particularly his handiness. He came to find that others were able to fix things or work with their hands in ways he never could.

"Not only did I fail at doing things, I screwed things up more than I should have," he said.

But Horovitz found the humor in this and decided to share these types of experiences in his book.

Horovitz and his wife, Jeanne, are well-known in the Kinnelon community, both having spent time volunteering in the 27 years they have lived in the borough. Horovitz is a past president of the Fayson Lakes Association and has been a leader of the Kinnelon Community Emergency Response Team (CERT) for the past 10 years. After having surgery on his arm, Horovitz was out helping borough residents when Superstorm Sandy brought down trees and knocked out power in the borough for days.

He and his wife have raised two daughters in Kinnelon and, although he, himself, is Jewish, his family members actively volunteer at Our Lady of the Magnificat Church.

Horovitz said his wife is mentioned throughout the stories in the book. Another real person and neighbor who is frequently mentioned is "Bill."

"Throughout the book, he's always rescuing me," Horovitz said.

"Jews With Tools" was self-published but Horovitz said he is hoping that it is successful enough for him to have the other four books he has in mind to follow it published. His ultimate goal is to be interviewed on Howard Stern's radio show. Horovitz is also hoping to spread the word about the book through its Facebook page.

Roberta Lane January 07, 2013 at 12:30 PM
Great book, Jon! Congrats on getting published! Jon worked with my husband, Bob at Nextel years ago. I bought 3 copies just before Christmas when I ran into Jon at Taste of Reality Deli (flyer and book was there on display as well) ..gave one to my wonderful pulmonologist, Dr. Harvey Gerhard in Basking Ridge (if you have coughing fits..go see him), one for Eileen and Sy (Mamma E I got one for you signed) and one for myself. Need more Jon...will call you today! Happy Lucky '13 one and all!
JohnCarlson January 07, 2013 at 01:54 PM
Jon; great book, congrats and actually remember some of these stories. "If it ant broke please don';t try to fix it." John
Morah January 07, 2013 at 02:51 PM
I plan to buy this book. I want to suggest a hilarious book, "Beware of God". Well written and funny...for Jews and non-Jews. I think you will like this little book.
Jack goldenberg January 07, 2013 at 06:06 PM
"Jews with Tools" is fabulously funny. In the book jacket, Horovitz promised to write other titles. I can't wait. Jews are funny? Who knew? Jack Goldenberg
Richard Dean January 08, 2013 at 01:34 AM
I recently had the honor of meeting Jon and do wish him the best for this book.
Richard Dean January 08, 2013 at 01:45 AM
Actually I met him through my retirement job at Enterprise Rent A Car located by the Route 23 Car Wash. Saturday morning I got to see a copy of this book which I can verify is very funny. However, I did express my concern over the title word "Jews" with my thought being that it is not a nice word to use and that I've never used it when referring to my Jewish friends and aquaintances.
IC January 08, 2013 at 02:18 PM
Actually, Mr. Dean, the word, “Jew” is not a derogatory term. It is the same as calling someone Catholic, Muslim, or Buddhist, or from an ethnic standpoint, Irish, Italian or Asian. The issue arises when biased, anti-semitic people use the word in a derogatory manner that has caused people to believe that the word Jew is a negative term. In our school, we teach our children to proclaim their Jewishness and take pride in being a Jew. It is just as someone else would teach their children to take pride in their religious or ethnic heritage.

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